Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Thank You All

Update: The hospital called this morning. Hubby is being moved to cardiac rehab which is great news. The not so great news is that he needs button down shirts, pants, underwear, pajamas and a terrycloth robe. I checked online and our local walmart doesn't carry men's robes even if I could afford to buy one. Hubby never wears button down shirts. He wears t-shirts and pull-over knit shirts under overalls and sleeps in his underwear. I am about ready to pull my hair out trying to find a way to get what he needs.

Thanks for all the responses to my previous post. I can see that some serious thought and research is going to be necessary. I will probably need to just meet with a DSS caseworker to get truly accurate information.

Hubby is doing well but has no strength in his legs after being laid up for 19 days. His leg braces that helped him walk (he has foot drop due to his back injuries) no longer fit because he has lost a lot of weight in his legs. He also has diabetic neuropathy so while he has the will to walk unassisted the reality is that he needs help. In his head, he knows this but he wants to come home. My son and I plus the doctors feel that he should go to cardiac rehab for a little while but hubby hasn't committed to going yet. I hope he does because we need time to make a few modifications. He may need a hospital bed to help him raise up because he can't use his arms to puish himself to a sitting position. There is so much to do and not enough time to do it.

To top it all off, my son, daughter-in-law, granddaughter and myself have all been sick with a respiratory virus for the past week or so. I also had a gallbladder attack last Thursday night and spent the night in the ER. I was having some heart arrythmia problems while I was there because my blood magnesium level was low and had to be given magnesium through an IV. My gallbladder issues are longstanding but have been worsening for several months. I had told my primary doctor that it was getting worse a few months ago and she said there were some medical tests that I needed before she would refer me to a surgeon. With so nuch going on with hubby's eye problems through the summer and early fall, there was just no time or money for me to schedule those tests. I followed up with my primary yesterday and all she wants me to have now before setting me up with a surgeon is a stress test. I will be having it on December 27th to see if my heart is okay to go under the anesthesia. I hope that I will be able to have the surgery soon because my gallbladder is so sensitive now that I am living on fat-free yogurt, fat-free cheese, fat-free turkey breast and pretzel sticks. I have terrible pain if I eat anything with fat. I have no appetite and have to force myself to eat what I do. I have lost 23 pounds this month.

I know in my head that things will get better but this whole year has been one crisis after another. I know that I have annoyed people who read my blog and that some readers think that I am lying about our situation. I wish that I was but the reality is that things are very bad.

With Christmas fast approaching, I just haven't been able to get in the Christmas spirit this year. Writing here is cathartic for me and whether or not anyone reads or responds doesn't really matter.

Our future as far as where we will live is up in the air and I feel like things are spiraling out of control. I just have to accept that loss of control and trust that everything will work out for the best.

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and hope that all your dreams come true. My only Christmas wish this year is that hubby will heal quickly and that he won't have any further heart problems. I feel guilty that I didn't even think that the pain in his upper back accompanied by nausea could be heart related since he already had a stent. Please take upper back pain between the shoulder blades seriously because it truly can be a big problem.

Sorry if this post is rambling but I write as things things occur to me.

With best wishes for a wonderful 2013,



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