Saturday, March 15, 2014

Rogue TV


Well, it looks like that television studio will be used to spew even more filthy lies, venom and stupidity.

I can picture the Palinbots now with their bowls of popcorn in hand, drooling over the image of their queen. I bet some of them will even invest in new big screens with 3D capability just to be prepared for the possibility of her channel being available in that format.

Sarah is probably already working on her speeches for all of the Emmy awards she thinks she is going to win.

Just for fun, here’s a list of some possible programming:

  • “Toddie’s Hotties” featuring Todd’s selection of prostitutes. A phone number and website address will scroll across the bottom of the screen so viewers can call or go online to buy time with their favorites. All major credit cards will be accepted.
  • “Shake It Up, Baby” Dancing lessons with Bristol, everyone’s favorite DWTS alumnus. Bristol’s tummy grows bigger in each new show. She tries to use props to hide her bulging belly with hilarious results.
  • Willow’s Wild Hair and Wigs. Willow shows viewers how to style their hair in the latest fashions. Wigs to hide the resulting mess will be featured, too.
  • “Piper’s Period”. Piper demonstrates that in spite of being kept out of school to accompany her mom everywhere, she knows where to place a period in a sentence. This show will also serve to prove that Sarah’s youngest daughter isn’t knocked up…yet.
  • “Toy Time with Trig and Tripp”. The boys will be featured playing with their favorite toys and games. Tripp will throw temper tantrums when Trig wins a game. Granny Sarah will read them Green Eggs and Ham, the Obamacare version and warped fairy tales to prove that she spends time with Trig. The part of Trig will be played by which ever boy or possibly girl, with Down Syndrome is available at taping time.
  • “The Wild Ride” The story of Trig’s birth narrated by Chuck Heath. Illustrated with that one picture of a suddenly huge Governor Palin following weeks of images of a flat-bellied Sarah.
  • “Cooking with Sarah and Sally” Sarah and her mom will make their famous moose chili and other nausea inducing family recipes. Guest stars who will taste the concoctions will be required to sign a release stating they won’t sue if the food makes them sick.
  • “Staying Sexy after 50” Sarah gives advice to women about sex, relationships, fitness and other topics such as how to use a push-up bra. Commercials will feature her newly launched line of cosmetics, clothing and shoes for sexy seniors. Toddie’s Hotties will drop in occasionally to remind viewers to keep their hubbies happy or they will go looking for sex elsewhere.
  • “Shooting with Sarah and Ted” Sarah and Ted Nugent go hunting but spend most of the show shooting off their mouths about President Obama.
  • “The Invisible Soldier” Once a month, static will be aired while patriotic music plays for an hour to remind viewers that Sarah is a military mom since Track refuses to appear on any of the shows.

What are some shows that you think might be part of the schedule? Share them in the comments.